


Damn Kurotsuchi and His Experiement!

by Dev14



Category: Bleach
Genre: 5+1 Things, Crack, Established Relationship, Except the end, Experiments, Genderbending, It's all his fault, Kurotsuchi is a Mad Scientist, Lot's of Mentions of Boobs, M/M, Male Characters Turned Female, Multiple Pairings, No Plot/Plotless, That's All Urahara, boobs, just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24925048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dev14/pseuds/Dev14
Summary: Kurotsuchi’s excuse was simple, to the point of infuriating. ‘I simply wanted to know if the men of the shinigami forces can tap further into their genetic possibilities.’OrFive times Ichigo witness someone he knew turned into a ‘female’ and the one time he himself was one.note: Kurotsuchi is in the title but not in the fic lmao
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya, Ayasegawa Yumichika/Madarame Ikkaku, ByaRen - Relationship, Hollow Ichigo | Zangetsu/Kurosaki Ichigo, Kurosaki Ichigo/Urahara Kisuke, KyoUki - Relationship, Kyouraku Shunsui/Ukitake Juushirou, Somewhat HichiIchi/ShiroIchi, YumiIkka, uraichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 124
Collections: The Seireitei Server Birthday Gift Exchange 2020





	Damn Kurotsuchi and His Experiement!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SueGra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SueGra/gifts).



> My first attempt at crack lmao It's a gift fic for my Discord server's (the Seireitei) birthday exchange event xD

**1\. I Got Tiddies!**

“What the hell is happening?” Ichigo exclaimed seeing the chaos of shinigami screaming and running around in panic.

He just arrived in Seireitei to hang with his shinigami friends, thinking that it was the weekend and the rest of his school friends had their own activities. Heck, even Ishida got a plan! He wasn’t to be outdone by the glasses-pushing jerk, so he thought he was gonna go and check out what Renji and the rest were doing. He obviously didn’t expect everyone to run around in panic and screaming.

He looked around, thinking maybe there was an attack, but then he spotted a little dwarf running to him— _oh wait, that’s just Rukia_.

“Ichigo!” Rukia called him, waving her hands to catch his attention—which she succeeded. Always in time for an explanation, this one.

“Rukia,” he greeted, ruffling her head to her dismay, “why’s everybody turning crazy?” he asked while looking around pointedly. They might as well have fires everywhere with the freaked out state everyone was in, like one of those apocalyptic movies with wars or zombies, or sometimes both. Whatever, he liked those movies, okay? Shakespeare can take a backseat on those mind-numbing movies, thank you very much.

“Well,” she breathed, about to explain the situation to her orange-haired friend, but she was interrupted by a girly wail. They both turned their heads toward the source of the cry.

“I-I don’t wanna have boobies!” someone cried conveniently a few feet before them, with two other shinigami trying and failing to console the crying girl. By the looks of it the girl was also a shinigami. She looked particularly familiar, actually, but Ichigo couldn’t put his finger on why.

“Calm down, Yuki!” one of the male shinigami tried to console, patting the girl’s shoulder awkwardly with his huge hand. He looked as if he was torn between being weirded out and sympathy for the poor girl.

“Jeez, ya still look the same!” another complained, picking his nose and flicking the booger in whatever direction, landing on the other shinigami’s uniform. He should be so lucky that his larger and more dangerous looking friend didn’t notice or he might as well be signing a death warrant for himself.

The girl’s lip jutted out, trembling as she started another bout of wails. Her friends looked torn, unable to console the crying girl successfully. “B-but my dic—”

“Wait.” the girl suddenly stopped. She blinked a few times and groped her breasts once or twice. The action wasn’t lost to the onlookers, especially the two shinigami who tried to look away out of awkwardness at the girl who was groping her own chest.

“I got _tiddies_ ,” she said slowly, still groping herself unabashedly, “that means I can look at them all day and no one will slap me!” the girl squealed, jumping up from her crouching position and running away from the scene in a mad dash of whoops and ‘tiddies-!!’, leaving behind dust in her place.

“Rikichi!” one of the guys who she left cried after the running girl, “at least let me see it too~!”

The bigger guy shook his head, patting his friend’s shoulder. “Ah well he’s as flat-chested as that Kuchiki girl from the 13th Divi—"

“You fucking idiot!” Rukia kicked the two shinigami out of the screen. She fumed even long after their forms were comically thrown into the sky and disappeared with a twinkle.

“W-wow,” Ichigo awed, scratching the back of his head at the ‘show’ he just witnessed. Well, what else could he call it?

“You see now, Ichigo?” Rukia sighed as she shook her head, dusting her hands together, and looked at him in the eye.

“What?” he blinked.

“That’s Rikichi, you dolt!” Rukia threw her hands out in exasperation. She couldn’t believe how dense this teenager could be. Like, how thick was his skull? Did his mother drop him on his head repeatedly as a kid so he developed a thicker cranium?

“Renji’s fanboy?” he guessed, still processing the information.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, thumping a fist on his palm in a gesture of ‘oh, I know!’, then frowned, “wait, he’s a—”

“Exactly.”

“But how—”

“Twelfth Division.”

“Ah.”

That seemed to be all the explanation that he needed, and he shrugged, already not caring of the fact.

* * *

**2\. The Monkey with Two Moons**

“Well, I’m gonna go see Renji for a bit, catch you later Rukia!” he waved, already shunpo-ing away from the vicinity, leaving behind a poof of smoke—wait he wasn’t a ninja. Never mind, then, there was no poof.

“Wait, ICHIGO HE’S ALSO—” Rukia cried after him but he was already gone. She cursed and clumsily shunpo-ed away too. She needed to practice her shunpo, it seemed because she resorted to simply running when she stumbled over her feet over and over again. Whoops.

“Oi Renji, you fucking pineapple, I’m here to see ya!” Ichigo barged into the surprisingly—or conveniently—empty barracks. He frowned when he couldn’t hear anyone around, and decided to snoop in. Maybe Renji was inside. Rare, with him always fooling around—' _training the recruits’, yeah right_ —but he wasn’t to be discouraged from seeing the pineapple yet.

_“C-captain Kuchiki, this is not the place...”_ a breathless voice of a woman could be heard coming from inside Kuchiki Byakuya’s office. Ichigo stopped in his tracks.

_A girl? With Bitch-kuya? Oh ho ho, I didn’t know he’s a sleazy perv, fooling around in his office I see,_ he thought in mischief.

“Turn around, Renji.” That got him to pause and blink rapidly.

_Wait, Renji’s there too?_ His eyes widen in realization at what might be happening inside, _Fuck, these guys... with a girl they—!_

“A-ah, Bya, it hurts—” the girl cried, obviously in _pain_ —

_That fucking does it._

Ichigo slammed the door to the office open, barging in with a loud yell, already knowing the horrid scene he would find inside. “Oi, what are you assholes doing to a goddamn girl...!”

Well it was not what he expected, to say the least.

The _redhaired_ girl was on the male Kuchiki’s lap in his ‘big-boy chair’, her slender body was half-naked, her black shihakusho hanging around her lower arms, leaving her well-endowed breasts on display—if not for Byakuya’s hands that froze in the middle of palming them. Oh yeah those palms were right smack in the middle of both... things, fingers groping and such.

“Ichigo!” the redhead screamed in a terribly high-pitched voice that only girls seem to be able to do well, covering her bare chest full of extremely familiar _tattoos_ with her shihakusho while slapping the hands away.

Byakuya’s face was murderous as he instinctively covered the girl’s body with his own, draping his white haori on the girl’s naked body. Those growls definitely didn’t come from a random animal.

“ _Scatter, Senbon—_ ”

“What the fuck—!” he exclaimed but a small hand muffled his mouth before he was dragged out of the room, the door shutting noisily behind him before the murderous captain managed to complete his shikai release and obliterate—“ _Ichigo_!”

Rukia slapped him in the back of his head until he stumbled.

“I told you he’s turned into a girl too!” The substitute shinigami paused his hand in the middle of rubbing the sore spot where the pixy— _Rukia_ —hit him.

Well shit.

* * *

**3\. Bold, Bald, and Sexy**

“That was traumatizing,” Ichigo said to himself with a shudder, suppressing the memory of a naked girl-Renji being fondled by _Byakuya_ that prissy-princess noble— _ugh_ , he felt sick. He didn’t know that the cold Kuchiki had that kind of relationship with the redhead. Well, he couldn’t complain since he was also—

_CRASH! BAM!_

“What the hell is going on now?” he sighed. It seemed that his legs carried him to one chaotic location after another. He was right smack in front of the 11th Division’s gates now. Great.

A large shadow loomed over him and a gruff sound of “yo, Kurosaki!” was shouted right to his ear as Zaraki Kenpachi appeared out of nowhere, draping a large hand over Ichigo’s shoulders.

“ _Geh_ , Kenpachi!” he jumped, pulling away from the spiky-haired monstrosity and backtracked several steps. That giant could be real silent if he wanted to, that was hella scary!

“What’s with the fucking ‘ _geh_!’?” the monst—Kenpachi growled, a hand gripping his sword in reflex but kept it there. Yeah, Ichigo could practically hear his eyes screaming ‘LET’S FUCKING FIGHT!’, what with his huge-ass grin that he was sporting that conveyed more than just ‘amusement’.

“You’re someone that should be ‘ _geh’_ -ed to, stupid, look at you,” Ichigo raised his brow after calming his nerves—he hated to be surprised, okay?

“What’s the fuss all about?” he nodded his head to Kenpachi’s barracks, interrupting the man before he exploded and taunted him to an _actual_ fight. No, thank you, he didn’t want to be held accountable for the damages that the spikes did and got reprimanded by the Captain-Commander and had to do community service— _you get the idea._

“You’re gonna want to see this,” Kenpachi cackled aloud, as if forgetting his anger and dragged Ichigo by the shoulder to his barrack’s compound.

This man had no sense of decorum, whatsoever. Sometimes Ichigo wondered how the other captains would put up with the brawny man in their captains’ meetings. Did he even do his job properly? Ichigo doubted it. He bet his ass for a week that he—and that kid of a lieutenant—didn’t do fuck all, go around looking for a fight with anyone that was willing, and left all the job for Ikkaku and Yumichika. Yep.

Well, at least this once he wasn’t asking for a fight, that counted as something, perhaps?

“Yo, Yumichika, you got him?” the captain hollered as they reached inside the compound, voice piercing through the commotion. A lot of the gangster-looking shinigami turned to face their captain, various stages of mirth and ludicrous expressions on their faces.

“AHAHAHA, Ikkaku stop resisting—” Yumichika’s voice could be heard bawling in laughter somewhere beyond the wall of thug-like shinigami.

“No! Yumichika I’ll kill you!” a deep, yet distinctly woman’s voice screeched, a loud slap was heard.

“ _Ouch babe that hurts_ —Captain, Ikkaku is being _so_ uncooperative!” Yumichika complained, holding back another bout of laughter as he carried what looked like a woman on his right shoulder like a sack of potato, her back facing forward with Yumichika’s dainty hands holding her bottom in place. 

“Get your hands off my ass— _and fucking stop laughing_!” the woman howled at the rows of amused snickers and whistles, “I’ll castrate all of you all, don’t think I can’t do that now—Ichigo!” and she gasped as Yumichika turned so the woman’s face was facing Ichigo’s dumbfounded expression.

Oh, he wished he didn’t see it. But the resemblance was... _uncanny_.

“I...kkaku?” he whispered weakly.

Yachiru might be a ‘girl’, _technically_... But seeing an actual ‘woman’ in the middle of the 11th Division is...

And she was bald too. Because that was actually Ikkaku. And she looked smokin’.

_Girl Ikkaku._

He was so ready to go back home at that point. Yumichika explained that Ikkaku suddenly locked himself in his quarters that morning, when he usually let Yumichika in to hang before they went to work. So when the flamboyant shinigami reported his ‘suspicion’ to Kenpachi, well, the fun-loving (?) captain couldn’t resist taunting Ikkaku from the front of his door. Of course Ikkaku couldn’t _exactly_ retort with his predicament, so an impatient Kenpachi slammed the door opened and lo and behold, Madarame Ikkaku was a girl.

Safe to say that the rest of the day was spent showing the poor man— _girl_ —around the barracks and poking fun at the angry, horrified ‘woman’. The fact that she looked and acted so much like Ikkaku—yet still rather pretty, which was _weird_ , since that was Ikkaku for god’s sake—was even more hilarious to the 11th Division shinigami.

Yumichika put his arm around his fuming boyfriend-turned-girlfriend, “aw come on, babe, you still look hot.”

“Yumichika you bastard,” girl-kkaku growled, his—her—face was red in anger and she clenched her fist before executing a flawless uppercut—that Yumichika dodged in place of an innocent officer. He, too, went flying into the sky with a twinkle.

“No fucking around in the barracks you idiots,” Kenpachi picked his ear, already losing interest in the whole shenanigans. Thank goodness he kept Yachiru away before things got out of hand, these idiots went around and shouted NSFW stuff all day long for fuck’s sake.

Yumichika leered, pushing his luck. “So I can fuck her outsi— _YE-OUCH, MY BEAUTIFUL BALLS_!” ‘she’ didn’t miss this time.

* * *

**4\. White-Haired Beauty and the Lost Jewels**

Ichigo managed to escape from the 11th before things got worse, barely dodging Ikkaku’s spear to his own family jewels before he flitted out of the chaos.

He stopped in the middle of the shopping district, right in front of a traditional Japanese restaurant when a couple exited the establishment. One of them was wearing a pink, floral outerwear and a signature _sugegasa_ hat that he immediately recognized the man.

“Kyoraku-san,” he greeted when the bearded man finally noticed him. He nodded at the white-haired woman politely, not wanting to be crude in the presence of what looked like Kyoraku’s ‘date’ for the day. She looked familiar, though. He definitely thought that he saw her lingered in the 8th Division gates from time to time.

“Ah, Kurosaki-kun, is it?” the captain smiled amiably, his arm was wrapped around the woman’s waist loosely, “it’s a pleasant surprise to see you here.”

“I guess today’s already too much of a surprise for me,” he muttered, more to himself and then turned to the woman, “sorry to disturb you on your date, miss,” he apologized sheepishly, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

Yeah, he was weak against older women, so what? The lady was a sight to behold, if nothing else. She wore a white haori like a captain, but he was pretty sure she was some sort of officer or maybe noble, because he knew all of the captains and he never saw her. When all was said and done though, he gotta admit that Kyoraku got a fine taste in women like he did in sake.

“Kurosaki, I’m not...” the woman looked flustered as she shook her hands vehemently in embarrassment, taking a deep breath and looked at him in the eye, “... it’s me.”

Ichigo blinked. Once, twice. The woman addressed him as ‘Kurosaki’ without the added honorific of ‘-san’ or ‘-kun’ or something that usually followed when meeting someone new, which was only _appropriate,_ as if she knew him. And the way she said it was so familiar... He put two and two together and his eyes bulged in surprise.

“Eh... D-don’t tell me,” he stuttered in shock, recognition dawned on his eyes, “Ukitake-san?!”

The solemn looks on both the captains’ faces was an answer enough.

He was flabbergasted. “How many people did that wacko clown turn?!” he exclaimed ludicrously.

“Too many,” Ukitake sighed, massaging ‘her’ forehead.

At least he seemed to be taking it better than Ikkaku did, what with them going out for lunch like they normally did. Ichigo was honestly not surprised that the two captains were together. They were practically swooning over each other every time he saw them in the same room.

They chatted for a while in front of the restaurant, dancing around the topic on Ukitake’s newfound look as if they were allergic. Try as he might to make it seemed as if he was talking normally, he knew that he was definitely was talking a little bit softer and polite than usual. He couldn’t help it okay, the white-haired captain looked too much like a woman—because _she was one!_

“Ah, it is rude for us to stand around in front of the restaurant like this. We should be going now,” the white-haired captain said after a while, the feminine face making her disposition even more frail than usual.

“Oh, yeah, bye—,” Ichigo waved at the pair already walking away, halted, and said aloud, “wait a minute.”

The two captains froze in their tracks. He approached them again as they turned around in question, “what is it, Kurosaki-kun?” Kyoraku asked lowly, his voice unusually cold. That was the first warning alarm.

Ichigo tilted his head, frowning at Kyoraku’s bottom half much to the other man’s growing nerves. “Kyoraku-san, you’re walking weird. Like, uh, like a girl?” he tried, he didn’t want to be so crude but... that was the only way he could describe how the older man walked. As if he lost his family jewels.

Ukitake, knowing that they wouldn’t be walking out of the situation without telling the substitute, looked at her friend and partner and decided to take the matter into her hands. He would bound to know, anyways, better to know from them rather than gossips. _At least Shunsui wouldn’t have to admit it himself_ , she thought as she patted the large man’s back subconsciously.

“Kurosaki-kun, you see,” Ukitake said slowly, “some of the affected, they just got turned on certain parts of their body...” she peered to Kyoraku’s face, the bearded man strangely silent. But then the trembling fists and the reflexive urge to touch the area around his crotch, only to clenched his fists tightly again as he gritted his teeth were telling enough of his internal conflict.

It dawned on Ichigo, his eyes zooming in to the 8th Division’s captain’s crotch, but resisted just in time to look at somewhere around his midsection instead. “Y-you mean your d—”

“Don’t say it, Kurosaki,” Kyoraku suddenly growled, an unusually dark look on his face.

Ichigo could only sympathize with the man as he bobbed his head in assent. He needed to respect the older man. His most prized, priceless possession that described his life as a man was taken away from his jacked-up, uber-masculine body, and left him wanting for some semblance of normal and healthy ‘manly rub-off activity’, which he couldn’t get anymore.

_Poor Kyoraku-san... he lost his dick._

* * *

**5\. The King and his ‘Cat’**

And all day long he saw more and more shinigami that was once a man and turned into a female in front of his very eyes.

Yamada Hanataro was running away from a group of hooting shinigami, crying as ‘she’ wailed ‘don’t bully me~’ and falling down right on her face only to cry louder before a scandalized Kotetsu Isane picked the ‘girl’ up and flee from the scene.

He heard from various people he met that, indeed, the effect was random, and not everyone was fully turned. For example, the was a woman with a burly, obviously manly voice and figure, but her boobs were still pretty much intact. There was a man that got uber-sexy legs but he was very much a man everywhere else—or maybe he was just a fairy who shaved his legs daily and didn’t want to admit it to his friends. Ichigo knew some of those. That guy wore a fucking _anklet_ , for crying out loud. In his opinion, the dude’s friends were too stupid to know the signs.

Rukia popped up once more when he was about to leave the entire thing behind and into his rather sane world, saying that Kurotsuchi predicted the effect would last about a week before it would dissipate, since it was a prototype ‘drug’ or whatever. He told Rukia he didn’t give a fuck, but she obviously didn’t like that answer. So he escaped Soul Society with a hand-shaped red mark on his cheek and a throbbing, swollen bump near his temple.

_That’ girl’s nasty_ , he complained to himself mentally, rubbing his still stinging cheek.

“Yo, King, interesting day eh?” a mischievous voice said in the back of his mind, throwing him out of his self-pity.

“Shiro, that’s rare of you to show up,” he paused his leisurely steps. The Hollow was showing him the creepy grinning face, as usual.

“I’m in ye so technically I’m aaaalways ‘ere,” Shiro, as he called the spirit, drawled out, showing Ichigo that he was lying down on his side at one of the endless buildings in his inner world. OMZ (Old Man Zangetsu’s cool new nickname) was nowhere around. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with the two of them.

“Whatever, what do you want, showing up like this?” Ichigo thought out, ruffling his hair as he resumed walking. He was on his way to chill at Urahara’s after he just got back from Soul Society. He got an interesting story to tell the blond, after all. That was if he didn’t already know himself. he usually did, that prick.

“Well with all these dudes turnin’ to chicks, I just got an idea is all.”

Without any warning, the Hollow bombarded Ichigo with the vision of the spirit. But female. With the very same skimpy kimono that he suspected only girls in the red light districts would wear. And rack as huge as Matsumoto Rangiku herself.

“What the fuck!” Ichigo mentally shouted, wishing he could close his eyes and ‘unsee’ the image but he couldn’t. It was all in his head.

“Ain’t I hot, King?” Shiro purred, posing all sorts of ridiculously erotic poses Ichigo only saw on porn magazines.

“You’re me in grayscale, dumbass,” he shook his head, a headache already forming from all the stupid stunts he witnessed that day.

“But king, I’mma looking like a snack right now,” the Hollow leered, playing around with the collar of ‘her’ kimono and swishing the too-short skirt around, “don’t you just wanna _eat me_?”

“Shiro cut this out or I swear,” Ichigo warned, once again stopping in the middle of the street.

“ _Hmm, imagine if this part_ ,” Shiro touched her’ crotch, somehow Ichigo can feel it on himself and _he didn’t know why_ , “can take a dick.” He should’ve done himself a favor and hid somewhere in one of the unoccupied alleys because damn the Hollow was messing with him so _bad_. And the fact that Shiro actually succeeded in making him thought of those things infuriated him even more.

“You’re a sick pervert, you know that?” he groaned aloud. The other pedestrians looked at him weirdly, and he was so embarrassed that he pulled the hoodie he was wearing lower and hastened his pace.

“I’m you, King. Remember?” Shiro reminded him of what he said before in a sing-song voice, teasing ‘her’ body some more that made Ichigo feel squeamish, cackling out loud before finally disappearing to the back of his head and into nothing.

_Shut up you damn creepy Hollow._

Now he was left _still_ infuriated and with a rather hard problem. Fuck his life.

* * *

**6\. A Whole New World, A New Fantastic Pus—**

Finally escaping from the stupidity of everyone around him— _and the one in his head_ , Ichigo stumbled inside Urahara’s shop, expecting either Ginta to shout at him or Ururu to trip and fell right on his feet as she tried to welcome him. But they weren’t there.

He frowned, heading down to the basement where he thought he heard some noises. God knows what the crazy blonde could be doing in his ‘labs’, he was as bad as Kurotsuchi—maybe even worse considering he _blended in_ with the rest of the normal society. 

Slamming open a random door he called, “oi, hat and clogs—what the fuck are you doing?” he deadpanned with his arms crossed, looking at the scene before him in barely contained exasperation.

“Kurosaki-san!” the blond jumped two feet in the air and scrambled to hide the _gigai_ behind him, looking more like a criminal hiding the body of his victim in front of the cops. “W-well, this is...” he trailed off, unsure what to say to get himself out of the silly scenario.

“Is that a female _gigai_ of me,” he stated more than asked as he stepped closer to the man still crouching on his knees. He pushed the blond away and peered at the lifeless doll. Yep. It looked exactly like the one Shiro envisioned, but instead of black and white, it was entirely made in his colorings. It was obscene. As if he was looking at a blow-up doll version of himself or something.

“Ahaha-ha,” the pervert chuckled nervously, and tried to explain himself, “it was a simple experiment, Kurosaki-san—”

Ichigo suddenly tugged on the other man’s collar, bringing his face close to his, “so you wanna know how it feels?” he gave the blond a strange, dark smirk.

Shiro started it. Might as well enjoy his new ‘discovery’ of himself.

Urahara gulped.

.

.

.

“Wow, Kisuke, we definitely gotta do that more often,” Ichigo whistled, resting ‘her’ head on top of ‘her’ folded hands as ‘she’ gazed at the ceiling.

Technically his soul was still a male, only his _gigai_ was in the body of a female. It reminded him of went Renji switched _gigai_ with Rukia to fuck with his head. He wondered then, if Rukia ever thought that Renji might have thought perverted things when he was in her... um, _gigai_. Then again he seemed to be batting for the other team, what with Byakuya the Snob involved.

Well he didn’t really care about that, because the post-coital bliss he was in was tenfold better than their usual ‘shenanigans’ in the past.

“This body is hella cray, man,” Girl-Ichigo laughed, moving to her side with her elbow supporting her upper body weight, she leered at the pale, ghostly-looking blond, “I mean, how many rounds did we go? 5? 7? Man, that was _awesome_.”

“I-Indeed it was...” Kisuke stifled a horrible groan. He smiled forcibly at Ichigo, fully knowing that he was being punished for his ‘crimes’, even though the other didn’t really say anything to indicate otherwise.

His dick ached and he would definitely feel the chaffing tomorrow. He felt as if that was punishment enough. Right?

Ichigo perked, as if remembering something. Her eyes glinted dangerously as she hovered over Urahara, her still bare boobs on full display without a hint of shame. 

She grinned darkly, “hey, make yourself this kind of _gigai_ too.”

The blonde resigned his fate. Ichigo was known for his incredible tenacity as he was with his stamina, after all, as he just experienced some moments ago.

He wouldn’t be walking for weeks if they did it with him on the receiving end.

That, right there, Urahara Kisuke learnt a lesson he shan’t forget.

‘Never try turning Ichigo into a woman, _ever_.’

Wait, wrong point.   
  


...what was the point again?

* * *

_end (finally)._

**Author's Note:**

> Oky. I'm horrible at crack. LMAO.


End file.
